I left home (not to rebel, or declare my independence) because of my dad's womanizing. I thought it would be his wake up call if I shake my family a bit, by moving out on a whim. Through time, my family and I were able to patch things up, and I'd like to believe that my dad has stopped seeing any other woman (or at least that's what he said.)
I moved out last April, and I've only gone back like three times on a spread of eight months, but then came the Christmas holiday, and today marks the 9th day since I came back.
I won't want to admit this but being home after a long time is really quite refreshing! Like, I can just let down my guard, and actually not have to worry about going to work the next day. I can just let out the kid in me and be my parents' little daughter and it will be just fine because home is still home.
There were actually times when I thought being a grown up really sucks because it is too much hard work, and yesterday, I was just telling dad how it's another year which means another year added to my age and I am already feeling very old.
Perhaps, I'm not really feeling old, it's just the feeling that I am almost 24 and I haven't gone far enough in the course of life. Or I haven't done things that I thought I would have before I'm 24. Staying home, I feel like the seven year old girl that I once was--vulnerable, naive, hopeful, fickle, curious--I don't know.
But I know that I will enjoy my last two days with my family before I head back to the metro and face another day of my so-called grownup life.
Just stay on your path...someplace always takes you somewhere else and you're still young, enjoy it! At your age I was married for 3 years and expecting my first child. I have no regrets, but I do wish I had experienced life a bit more. I was on my generation's cusp, those of us who were children of post WW11 and the Korean War...we did as our mother's did, only leave home with a husband but then the other's, like my sister, left home with or without a spouse and became part of the working minority...women like that fought for what young women have now but there's still a lot of work for us, as a gender. However, now at my age, I and many other's of my generation face a whole new predjudice, age discrimination. So the circle keeps going around. Enjoy your youth and find purpose...don't let others distort your truth nor your ethics...know yourself and know you are your own best friend...trust in your gut because sometimes all we have is our intution.
ReplyDeleteOk, enough of the old fart advise. HOpe you enjoyed your visit home. There's something very wonderful when you return to your life in the city...it's your life!!!
Peace out,
Georgina